I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
