i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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