i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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