The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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