They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
