I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
