Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
