Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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