I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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