I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
