Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize