No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
