yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
