i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
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YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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