Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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