if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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