How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
