I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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