Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize