i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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