It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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