i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
