just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
