I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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