No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
