that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
