yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
