i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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