Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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