that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
