at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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