I got chris browned last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
