No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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