why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
