Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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(240): View more from Maryland

All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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(360): View more from Washington

Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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(941): View more from Florida

What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.

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(607): View more from New York

Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding

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