the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Someone signed my nipple.
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