At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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