We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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