i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
