Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who died my cat blue again?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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