Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you made out with another girl for some wings
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
