Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
