Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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