Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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