I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize