Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
