It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
