scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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