Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
