This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize