"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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