Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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