You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
