I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
