Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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