Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
