A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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