in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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