Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
