i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
