dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
