Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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