he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
