You really coming over, don't trick.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
