Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
