Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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